Why Sherlock ? Why ?
by JadeBeaumont3
Summary: Still in Progress of Writting it. I hope you enjoy what I put up. It is my first FanFic so please don't leave horrible reviews.  This is a story about John's life after his best friend Sherlock "Dies".The is having trouble forgetting what happened that da
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1 **_

"_I'm a fake"_

"_Sherlock ..." _

"_The news papers were right all along. I want you to tell __Lestrade, I want you to tell Mrs. Hudson and Molly, in fact tell anyone who will listen to you... that I created Moriarty for my own purposes."  
><em>

"_Ok, shut up Sherlock. Shut up. The first time we met - the first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right?"_

"_No one could be that clever"_

"You could"

_"I researched you. When we met, I discovered everything I could to impress you. It's a trick. Just a magic trick"_

_"No. Alright stop it now that's enough Sherlock... I'm coming up"_

"_No! Stay exactly where you are. Don't move"_

_"Alright..."_

_"Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please will you do this for me?"_

_"Do what?"_

_"This phone call...it's my note. That's what people do, don't they? Leave a note"_

_"Leave a note when?"_

_"Goodbye John"_

_"No...Don't"_

_"SHERLOCK!"_

* * *

><p>At that moment John woke up, he had been having the same nightmare every night since the incident. He still couldn't get over the fact he lost his best friend in such a small space of time. It had been two years and he was still having the same dream. He was standing, looking up at Sherlock when he jumped off a roof and hit the ground, by the time John got to him it was too late he was covered in blood and he was just lying there, then he was taken away to hospital. John went and visited Sherlock's grave every Saturday and he would stand there and beg for him not to be dead and for it all to be a crazy dream that he would wake up from, and that Sherlock would be stood in the living room playing his violin.<p>

John still lived in the same flat that he and Sherlock had shared and every so often he would stand at the window just as Sherlock used to and just look out and think to himself and just wonder why Sherlock had jumped. After that day John had felt so alone, it used to be John and Sherlock but now it was just John just him against the rest of the world.

Mrs Hudson came up the stairs and opened the door "John..." she said as she looked round for him then spotting him standing in front of the window. "Hello Mrs Hudson" John said as he heard her come in but he didn't turn round he just stood there and looked out the window like he was waiting for something to happen. "I was wondering if you would like to come out to the cafe for some lunch John?" asked Mrs Hudson trying to cheer him up. "Two years today Mrs Hudson, it's been two years on this very day" said John trying not to cry. Mrs Hudson walked over to John and put her arm round him, John broke into tears as she hugged him "two years, it's been two years since we lost Sherlock" he said sobbing into Mrs Hudson's Shoulders. "Would you like to go and visit him?" she said looking at John, he just nodded and then went to get his coat.

Before they left John made up a pot of tea and poured a cup for him and a cup for Mrs Hudson, they sat down at the table and drank there tea is silence. "John before we go to visit Sherlock can I take you out for a bit of lunch?" said Mrs Hudson with a sweet smile looking at John "Sure we can" he said looking at her with teary eyes.

John and Mrs Hudson walked to the cafe around the corner for a bit of lunch. Mrs Hudson sat looking at John who hardily touched his food. Instead he sat there looking at the plate and muttering to himself. Mrs Hudson kindly paid for the lunch as they walked back onto the main road and they flagged down a taxi.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mrs Hudson and John Got into the taxi and sat silently "Were do you want to go?" asked the taxi driver. John looked up "take us to the church" he said in a shaky voice trying to hold back the tears. They were driving for about twenty minutes before the taxi stopped in the church car park, "that will be £35 please" he said and he looked backwards and held his hand out for them to put the money into. Mrs Hudson got out her purse and gave the taxi driver the money.

As they walked to Sherlock's grave Mrs Hudson reminded John of the first time he and Sherlock ever met. John smiled and wiped his teary eyes as they got to Sherlock's grave. They stood and bowed their heads and paid their respects to Sherlock. "I am going to go visit my husband whist here" said Mrs Hudson putting her hand on Johns and looking up at him and giving him a weak smile. As Mrs Hudson walked away John looked down at where his friend lay.

"_Why Sherlock?" "Why did you do this?"_ John asked trying to hold back his tears.

"_I miss you Sherlock"_ he said in a shaky voice which sounded like he was about to cry.

"_I miss you too John"_ said a voice that sounded like it came from behind a tree near Sherlock's grave.

"_Sherlock is that you?"_ said John wiping his eyes and looking around.

Suddenly Sherlock came out from behind the tree and smiled at John

"_Hello John how have you been?"_ Sherlock said with a sly smile on his face.

_"Sherlock what the hell? Where have you been?"_ Asked John with a serious look on his face.

"_I was so worried, why Sherlock tell me why?"_ John said looking at Sherlock with an annoyed face.

"_If I didn't they would have killed you John. Not just you but Mrs Hudson as well. I couldn't risk it you all mean too much to me... You're like my...fa...fam..."_ Sherlock bit his lip and it sounded like he was struggling to say the word that he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"_You're like my family John, I couldn't risk losing you" _Sherlock said looking at John, his smile had disappeared and had turned into a serious look.

"_You're like my family too Sherlock that's why I couldn't stop hoping you were okay, and that you weren't really dead... I always had this thought in the back of my head, a thought that told me he is alright, a thought that told me i would see you again... That's what kept me going Sherlock, it stopped me moving away from London and going to live somewhere else" _John said.

He looked at Sherlock with a serious look, he wasn't smiling or frowning but is face stood neutral. For a while the two of them just stood looking at each other.

"_So are you coming home then Sherlock?" _John said breaking the silence with a slight smile on his face hoping that his friends reply would be yes.

Sherlock shook his head and Johns face dropped he couldn't believe it.

"_I can't John... I don't want to risk putting you and Mrs Hudson in danger, I don't know what I would do if I lost you both"_ Sherlock looked at John with a sorry expression on his face.

"_Well then can i see you every so often then Sherlock just so I know you are all right?" _ John couldn't believe his best friend wasn't going to come home after all this time.

Sherlock shook his head again and he looked up at John .

"_It would be too risky John and I can't risk it... not yet, not until I know its safe"_ Sherlock looked just as upset as John now. They both avoided eye contact.

"_Well I have to go now, Good Bye Sherlock" _John said still not looking at his friend who stood in front of him. As John walked towards the taxi his phone beeped, he picked it up and saw a text.

_**Sherlock: Good bye John, we will meet again**_

John just stared at the text for the rest of the ride back home. He couldn't believe it his best friend wasn't dead, in a way he was happy but also the thought of not seeing his best friend for so long made him upset.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

That night John lay in bed, he couldn't stop thinking about Sherlock. He couldn't figure out whether it was a dream or if it was real. He kept thinking that it couldn't be real, he stood and watched his best friend jump off that roof, and he was on the phone to him when he jumped.

John lay in the dark for about an hour before he slowly drifted off to sleep. But even when he was asleep he was thinking about it, first he dreamed about meeting Sherlock at the cemetery and then that dream, the same dream he had been having since that day. He was stood there looking up at Sherlock with his phone pressed to his ear. He kept shouting for Sherlock not to jump but he did.

Like normal John jolted in his bed and woke up but something was different this time. John turned his lamp on then got out of bed and put his dressing gown on. He opened his bedroom door and there sat in the arm chair was Sherlock. He hadn't noticed John stood in the door way, he sat there looking round the flat.

"_Decided you would come back did you?"_ Said John smiling at Sherlock.

He must have taken Sherlock by surprise because he jumped up out of the arm chair. John laughed silently as Sherlock pretended nothing had happened and brushed himself off.

"_I couldn't stay away John... This is my home"_ Sherlock smiled back at John.

"_So do you want a cuppa then Sherlock?" _Asked John looking at the full jar of tea bags in the kitchen.

Sherlock just nodded and sat back down in his arm chair. As John was making Sherlock and himself a cup of tea Sherlock shouted over to him.

"_John where is my violin?"_

"_It's in the box in the cupboard Sherlock; I had to put it there as it reminded me of you"_ Replied John pointing at the cupboard near Sherlock's arm chair. Sherlock took out his violin and started playing it.

After he had played a tune on his violin he put it back in the box and sat down. John and Sherlock sat talking all night. It was still dark when Sherlock got up.

"_It's been nice chatting too you John but I am afraid I have to go as it will start getting light soon...Good bye John"_ Sherlock said as he walked towards the door.

"_Good bye Sherlock"_ John said but it was too late his friend was gone.

John sat wondering when he would ever see Sherlock again. It was a mystery but then again Sherlock was a mystery. John walked back to his bedroom and took his dressing gown off and got into bed still thinking about his friend. John turned the light off and went to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It had been a month since John had seen is friend. He couldn't stop thinking about that night when he and Sherlock were sat talking for hours then he was gone, John hadn't seen him or heard from him since that night. John would text Sherlock hoping for a reply to tell him he was alright but he never got one. John was still writing his blogs but since Sherlock wasn't in them his hits had gone down not only 50 people read them.

One day John decided he was going to go to the cafe for a cup of coffee, as he walked to the cafe he bumped into a man who looked like Sherlock but he just shook his head and carried on walking. He looked back and saw the man stood looking at him and smiling. John looked forward again and walked into the cafe.

"I am imagining things" He said to himself shaking his head trying to get the image of his friend out.

All those times he had seen Sherlock were they a dream or a figure of his imagination? John didn't know anymore. John went and ordered a mug of tea and a sandwich. As he took it over to a table near the window that he had sat at with Sherlock, a man sat on the same table but John didn't look up.

"Hello John Watson" said the man.

John looked up and saw a man in a black coat that had the collars up and a hat on; it looked like he was trying to hide his face so no one would recognise him. At first John thought it was Sherlock but he just looked away.  
>"Mr Watson we need to talk but not here, come with me" Said the man.<p>

"No I don't know who you are, I am not going any were with you" said John in a stern voice.

The man got up and walked out of the cafe, for some reason though John didn't think it was the last time he would see that man. John finished his sandwich and his mug of tea and got up.

John went to visit Mrs Hudson as he hadn't sat and spoken to her for a while. When he got there she had just made a batch of cakes.

"Hello Mrs Hudson" He said to her as she opened the door. He smiled at her as she invited him inside.

"Hello dear, I have just made some cakes, would you like one?" She said smiling back at him whilst putting a plate of cakes on the table.

"I was wondering if you would like to come with me John and take a cake to Sherlock?" Said Mrs Hudson as she looked at John.


End file.
